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𝄫 Question Meme 06
It's been forever since I've done one of these, I'm really bored and I want to blather about stuuuuff.
Ask me anything about Selenia/Van Grants, Saya and Estelle except about their underwear because that's rude. >:T>
Ask me anything about Selenia/Van Grants, Saya and Estelle except about their underwear because that's rude. >:T>
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Lloyd has the benefit that Van can be completely honest with him, even with his occasional desire to burn down this world. Lloyd doesn't even react anymore (mainly because...he expects batshit insane crap from Van) so Van can just keep tossing that out...And it seems to have helped in that this openness to being insane at Lloyd means he was only a few steps away from being open about vulnerabilities as well.
The Hod dream thread was enough to push it along the rest of the way, since it was very much a dream about Van at his most vulnerable moment, and Lloyd took charge and made sure he was cared for his mother was cared for. So Van definitely...trusts that Lloyd genuinely cares about him and that Lloyd wouldn't judge him for his perceived weaknesses either, so that has allowed him to be honest and also feel as though he doesn't have to set up some sort of insane guard around Lloyd by twisting the conversation around to "EVERYONE WOULD BE HAPPIER IF THEY JUST KILLED THEMSELVES ALREADY."
He still thinks Lloyd is selfish for holding the views he does re: self-sacrifice (anything resembling "It hurts other people to see you hurt" as though that is somehow greater than being hurt yourself is a big NO button for him in Aather right now) and he also doesn't think Lloyd truly understands what a lack of free will feels like...but he can simply disagree and say so and feel like that's enough because whatever Lloyd says, he at least knows it's genuine and not masking some sort of unseen WE HATE VAN GRANTS AND WANT HIM TO SUFFER conspiracy.
...I guess I will reserve this. THREE WEEK OLD QUESTION MEME AW YEAAAH.
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GOSH
DOING KIND OF OKAY FOR A CHANGE
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HOW WILL WE COPE WITH BEING OKAY???
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HE LIKES FOR THINGS TO BE OKAY...
honestly his opinion of Van is fairly set in stone at this point! he'll continue to trust him as much as he can without being totally stupid and be really happy that he seems to be doing better! THIS IS A RELATIONSHIP IT'S REALLY HARD TO MESS UP, VAN GRANTS
what does Van think of his rapidly shifting opinions on Lloyd... like, does he self-examine there at all?
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thereat all?"fix'd it for you
kdlsa ANYWAY...He's learning to self-examine. Denial and rewriting reality is how Van has coped with the fact that he doesn't actually have as much control over things as he likes. He spent so much of his life putting himself on the pedestal of being one of the few who sees the way things truly are and has taken refuge in the fact that even though the world is terrible and awful, he at least stands in the objective right.
Obviously! Aather has put this to the test! Repeatedly! Which has finally taken effect after Shark's heart. Cry Wolf fallout was so bad for him Van just locked right back up again and denying that there is any good in anyone, partly to explain why people reacted in a way he felt made no sense to him and partly to protect himself from responsibility for what he screwed up. EITHER WAY...The idea that 'no-one care about me' was protection! If no-one cares about him, he doesn't have to be worried about being killed and can accept it as inevitability, and that also means he doesn't have to care about anyone else either!! Unfortunately Shark's heart provided him with a whole group of people who cared so that...meant he had to examine that idea. Which meant he had to examine other ideas too.
He hasn't really examined how he views Lloyd differently, but he's examined how he's been viewing people, which can later apply to how he views individuals.
...I have no idea what to ask you. I feel like there's a theme to continue but I have no idea what.
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CAN I ASK ONE MORE!!
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AND THAT WASN'T A QUESTION BECAUSE I DECIDED THE ANSWER ALREADY GOD
You go live in your wonderland Mithos, I'll live in this one with actual murder.
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