glorious | 𝄫 Question Meme 06

But what if I want to know about your underwear, Selenia

RUDE. But they're Sapphire-blue tighty-not-whiteys. Or at least I assume that underwear matches the team coloring scheme because that is the most adorable option for me. Whatever the default is, Van sticks with that because he figures trying to be creative with them would end badly next trauma game. No-one respects a meat-pile that was clearly once wearing a set of male undies with brightly colored floral-print.

NOW TELL ME ABOUT SIEH'S UNDERWEAR HABITS.

Well, he doesn't always wear them. Unless it's the kind of pants that requires them. I tend to assume they're some sort of boxer-briefs . . . and why not, I like the idea of underwear being in team colors. But he'd also wear silly things, if he felt like questing for them.

How about a general relationship thingy for Sieh and Selenia?

Things are awkward on Selenia's end and he has accepted they'd always be awkward for as long as the concept of guilt exists in his head. He kind of appreciates that Sieh seems to have considered Nahadoth's punishment to be sufficient, so he doesn't have to worry about Sapphire being targeted by TE in a game, though he wouldn't begrudge Sieh for it if he did. Since Sieh's has a child's anger, he figures Sieh doesn't actually get much choice in how he deals out 'eye for an eye' type of punishments.

Aside from that, Selenia still likes Sieh even though he'll make an effort not to impose too much. The memory share mistletoe from forever ago actually solidified Selenia's care for Sieh (in a Van way) because he is a child that has seen some of the worst of humanity and has been hardened by it which is a ping that he can't ignore. And when he saw Selenia's memory of his mother dying, he seemed to understand that pain and was also willing to let Selenia share a memory of his mother while she was alive so that actually meant quite a bit to him, in that Sieh had a lot of reason to just say "I got what I needed for the game" and not accept anything else.

Even though Sieh outright said he has a child's anger, Selenia thinks he's actually shown more restraint than he expected when he feels that there's no real reason for that restrain so overall his opinion of Sieh is quite high! On the basis that he could've slaughtered him and his team or outright told him to go away at any time and then didn't do either of those things!

Reverse?

. . . oh Selenia, you are giving Sieh too much credit. While Sieh does consider Naha's punishment mostly sufficient, he will target Sapphire if the opportunity comes up in a game. It's not a pressing need or something he will go out of his way to do, but he'll go for it if he can.

What I think partly contributes to a lot of this (ie, showing restraint) is that Sieh has been growing up pretty much his entire time in Aather, in one way or another. Part of him will always be the child, but he has more adult elements to temper some of his worst traits.

And this is a terrible reverse I WILL COME BACK TO IT

Edited 2013-01-19 04:44 (UTC)

What if I want more thoughts on Van and hearts.

...You might have to specify because there's a lot of thoughts there.

Okay since Echo asked a specific one, what were his thoughts on Shark's heart?

SHARK NEEDED THE HELP HE GOT, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THE CHICKEN.

The 'death by nice feelings' is...going to stick with him for a while because associating all those feelings of belonging and safety with smothering traps and HORRIBLE DEATH BY SPIDER means Van might...try to be less friendly with Shark and hold him more at a distance. Like, he understands that sometimes one must kill their loved ones to protect them but Shark's heart seemed very creative with how it dealt out death and Van figures it's just best not to be one of his loved ones. Better to find the happy medium of 'not a stranger/enemy' and 'not a precious loved one'.

The labyrinth of terrible feelings and the dragon and stuff went over his head as a video game reference, but he assumes that Shark doesn't know how to cope with negative emotions and so he just hides them away and then the dragon turning into a kitten meant...........some............thing....? IT SEEMS SIGNIFICANT he just can't parse it beyond "Maybe the dragon was his desire to lash out for attention and then the kitten represents how he found a safer way to get that attention?" But that is not an interpretation he's sold on.

And then there was the hall of mirrors and who even knows. SHARK FELT LOST IN REGARDS TO SOMETHING but he never figured out what because I kept going to bed at somewhat decent hours.

EITHER WAY...He knew that Shark's heart was damaged but he didn't see what it was like pre-damage so he just kind of...assumes that all this was there and people just brought more of it out to the surface and that everyone's attempts just pushed it back. HE DOESN'T EXACTLY HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR SHARK'S SANITY NOW, EVEN IF EVERYONE ELSE THINKS THEY FIXED HIM OR WHATEVER.

(he also now has a fear of "how horribly would my heart murder everyone?" because he's at least aware enough to know his own sanity is pretty damn low.)

...So how is Shark feeling after all that?

WHAT DID VAN THINK OF WHAT HE SAW OF ECHO'S HEART

Echo is a poor person who has been battered down by life and her heart reflected that, given how worn down everything was. The Ballroom he figured wasn't the True Heart and was likely a front of some kind, but he let it slide because he went into Echo's heart with the singular purpose of finding and dealing with Zwei.

The fountain of feelings was overwhelming, especially since they were so strong and Echo has very rarely shown any signs of having feelings that strong so it was a surprise...He also wondered if those feelings he felt were somehow related to something he did so he felt some slight responsibility there because Van's ego.

Honestly, the saddest part to him was Past!Echo because she seemed to be so clearly chained to her role and talking with her only got the answer of "this part must be destroyed." COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DESTROYING the source of one's problems is an understanding thing to Van, though it was still sad because as Selenia there was some hope that things change. But no, sometimes change is impossible and you have to burn everything to the ground and start over again.

Zwei's heart though, he just did the experimental first aid on a flower to see if it worked, then saw that it would've taken more effort to heal everything than it likely would've been worth and so he just moved on. She had a stage so he kind of figures that Zwei just wants to be a show-off for attention and then she never did anything to disprove this idea.

...ALSO you didn't mention it in the write-up but did Van breaking through the wall kool-aid man style do anything...?

oh van

YES!!!! Sorry about that, towards the end I skimped on a lot of detail. SO, THE LOBBY WAS BOREDOM, waiting, etc., and the theatre was stability, her show, etc. SO. I'M SURE PUTTING A HOLE BETWEEN THEM DID SOMETHING. Something good for Echo, at least. I may have to think on it for something detailed and deep, but I have some time since Zwei is being a recluse right now. It did totally contribute to Zwei's current hiding though.

What about the real Echo, has his thoughts on her changed any

Van still loevs real Echo. He already knew going in that she had some problems, but he didn't realize the full extent of them until he saw the condition of everything. He's always been aware that she tends to push everything down and not express how she's feeling, but he's a little more convinced that she's actually harming herself through that so he might try and get her to be a little more upfront about things if he can.

But he's also Van Grants and realizes the importance of lying so no-one knows you're hurting so. >:T>

How is Echo feeling now?

But underwear is important Selenia! :T

Selenia's thoughts on Spitfire?

Selenia thinks that Spitfire is someone who needs people, which he thinks he might have heightened that because of what he's done in his heart. NOT THAT THIS IS A BAD THING, especially since it means that Spitfire now needs him and that is appealing to Selenia in the ways that he is still a horrible person named Van Grants.

But he also still really enjoys Spitfire's company on a genuine non-bastardly level as well. Spitfire died back home and understood those feelings when Selenia was still feeling torn about his own death and that talk cemented Spitfire's place as a friend that Selenia can sort of...half-way open up to. Selenia feels comfortable talking about the ways in which he feels he's been victimized and that Spitfire wouldn't somehow judge him or tell him to 'move on'. However, he's still a bit...not quite terrified but definitely uncertain about ever telling Spitfire about the way he victimized others. After what he's seen in Spitfire's heart, he figures he'd be the sort to understand violence as a form of protection for others, but he doubts Spitfire will think highly of someone that killed for an insane ideal.

However, they don't talk about morality enough for that status-quo to be challenged, so he's quite happy to keep Spitfire as his friend that he always keeps that small bit of distance with.

Reverse?

(They should talk about Sora and Kilik sometime. Or the torture chambers... :'D)

Spitfire is incredibly comfortable with Selenia. The stuff in his heart amped that up a bit, but Selenia gives off a big brother feel that is appealing to him. The conversation they had about Spitfire's death went a long way towards making Selenia someone Spitfire trusted because it wasn't shock or anything that he got back from him. Spit's well aware that at some point he's going to get back that memory, and he kind of carries that knowledge in the foreground as a shield against what's coming. With Selenia though, it was a mutual sympathetic situation, and that's not really something he's had a lot of experience with. It allowed him to be upset and uncertain and just... a little insecure about being dead.

He would enjoy opening up more and being opened up to more, but he's never sure how far he can push. With A-Tards he can push things incredibly hard because they're speaking the same language. With people in Aather, he's learned to be a lot more cautious. I guess, interestingly since Selenia did kind of get adopted as an A-Tard in Spit's heart, he may push things a little harder. Not sure!

... Speaking of Spit's heart though, it's interesting that Selenia was just shy of the island that dealt with torture, etc, and then chose to go back to the less deeply buried areas of Spit's heart.

:D;;

What are Selenia's thoughts on the games?

Saya's impressions of Lambda?

Saya gets a little unsure about Lambda, but mostly because she never met a human that was so open to baby-eating before, which is something that Saya has learned to be ashamed of in Aather. And Lambda also approached her after that game where they targeted Kunzite and Kunzite got hurt so she kind of figured that LAMBDA KNEW but couldn't make heads or tails of why she didn't seem to be mad.

She really likes Lambda because she doesn't react in ways that Saya has learned that humans react, but it's awfully confusing for her sometimes and she doesn't know if she should like...react differently that she does to other people around her.

Reverse?

Babble about stuff

STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF STUFF

...did you want to specify the stuff that was being babbled about?

MAYBE I DON'T WANT YOU TO ANYMORE!!!!

uhm well Selenia and Apple just had a lot of feelings at each other so TALK ABOUT THAT MAYBE

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SPECIFY OR MISUNDERSTANDINGS HAPPEN (like resting forever, gosh that would've been embarrassing...)

But yes...Apple's response to finding Selenia burned up kind of...He was surprised that she felt so happy that he felt happy since that wasn't the reaction he expected, but he also figures that that reaction would be different if he was upfront about what he did in Echo's heart. So he'll probably never confide in having done that sort of thing or even thinking of why it might've been a good idea because he doubts she'd ever really understand what went on through his heart. Which is a bit sad because it is something that he felt good about and wanted to share but then he needed to lock it up and actually...genuinely felt ashamed of it.

He loves Apple and would like to be more open with her in general and has trusted her with a lot of heavy things before but he just...doesn't believe he can share this one thing and it saddens him. :(

I guess, how is Apple feeling about Selenia's tendency to get crispy?

IT'S AN EXPRESSION OR SOMETHING OKAY!!1

C-cry that whole thing was like OH NO SELENIA IS SERIOUSLY BURNED but he was. Alive, so she didn't really process "wait he might have actually died" until later and that was the most distressing thing, more than being crispy. And that was delayed because he was happy and actually hearing him say that was like a lot of feelings and she was really happy for him?! This is only slightly tangential from your question hush. Ever since their conversation where he confessed he didn't want to live she's been on tip toes trying to figure out how to help. SOME...HOW...BEING BURNED HELPED, (maybe) (she thinks it helped) she hasn't really considered why, and if Selenia feels happy then she isn't going to question why or push him to explain. JUST. MAYBE FIND A WAY TO BE HAPPY WITHOUT BEING BURNED ALIVE. ;; Small steps.

I can't think of any questions HOW DID ESTELLE FEEL ABOUT THE ANNIVERSARY EVENT THING???

State the relationship for both (all?) of mine? :O

I'm going to focus on Selenia's feels since those are more recent and the relationships there probably need more detailing than "Saya likes Mako and thinks he's cool" or "Estelle wants to drag Mako to the library again".

Mako is a bro. Not much has changed here expect he now believes that Mako has some serious issues with the knight role, but given that he shouted about how he wasn't just 'a team accessary' during Cry Wolf it isn't...surprising. He might ask more about it but from experience, knights tend to lock-up tightly when pressed about their role (except Lloyd but Lloyd is an exception to everything).

Emil actually gained some respect for standing up to Selenia the way he did. I MEAN, AT THE TIME SELENIA WAS REALLY FRUSTRATED WITH HIM but Emil stood in harm's way because he believed that Zwei shouldn't be killed, even if it was only on a "this could badly hurt Hail" level. Selenia might not show this respect, but Emil taking action like that and sticking with it puts him above so many people who he feels just say nice words and then forget about what they've said once push comes to shove.

Ratatosk ...is so crazy Van doesn't know what to do with him??? I am trying to think of something more in-depth to say about him but Van has just accepted that Ratatosk is a volatile force of nature and has made the active decision not to try and get invested in him again because he's such a loose cannon. YOU CAN'T EVEN BE MANIPULATED, THERE'S NO POINT TO THIS S.LINK ANYMORE.

...Reverse?

How dangerous would your characters' hearts be? (Since you talked a little about Selenia's.)

Estelle's heart is pretty darn safe at the moment. Some chance of injury but you'd have to go well out of your way if you wanted to die...Which would probably cause some damage there. '-'a

Saya's heart is also pretty safe and cozy...provided you're not an invader. If you are and go in the wrong spot, you have far less chance of surviving. She's a bit territorial.

Selenia's heart varies depending on where his moral pendulum swings at any given moment, but it's divided rather neatly into 'safe zones' and 'danger zones'.

Reverse?

Ayame's heart is only dangerous if you somehow make terrible decisions. There's… potential for injury depending on where you are? But it's really difficult and you have to be really trying because it's very obvious. For instance, there were some minor traumatic experiences in her body-change heart, but it was a special instance and nothing lasting aside from awful feels.

Viola's heart… is similar, in that you have to be trying, but it's less that the heart itself is dangerous and more that the True Heart is in total control and takes no shit if she doesn't like how you're behaving. But really, it's less danger and more… she'll sit on you or kick you out. She won't resort to chewing your head unless you're really behaving terribly.

Malik's heart is DANGER DANGER EVERYWHERE \8D/ it is murder cupcake with danger icing, to quote Leverage. There are death traps and seemingly-innocuous things that hurt you and pain and death and hurtiness. Qamar is in charge. And yet his was still one of the ones with the least trauma in that particular round, so go figure.

Selenia gets an offer to be made into a Persona. What is his reaction?

...I THOUGHT I ANSWERED THIS probably because the answer is so straight-froward but g-gosh.

Selenia already feels that he's just escaped a very similar system and has been plopped right back down in a situation where his choices are limited anyway so his immediate answer will be "No, never." ...And that won't change, because as far as he can tell, being a Personae is even more restrictive than the Score was. At least the Score was loose enough that he could work with its loopholes and also actually have the ability to hate it, but Personae don't seem able to even be able to form their own opinions on things so it's. An even worse position.

...I'd say that if there was something worth doing it for he'd consider it but absolutely nothing is worth that to him. If it was a choice between "Live as a Personae or die without any hope of revival" he'd choose the later because it is just that bad.

This is a really interesting question. How would Ayame handle such an offer?

TALK TO ME ABOUT SELENIA AND MITCHELL although I guess we do talk about that a fair bit but talk to me more anyway

TELL ME WHERE OUR RELATIONSHIP STANDS /asks the most typical question

I'M AFRAID TO ASK WHAT WE'RE EVEN DOING ANY MORE

(this is a lie)

SINCE I LET THIS SIT LONG ENOUGH...We are actually doing really well?

Lloyd has the benefit that Van can be completely honest with him, even with his occasional desire to burn down this world. Lloyd doesn't even react anymore (mainly because...he expects batshit insane crap from Van) so Van can just keep tossing that out...And it seems to have helped in that this openness to being insane at Lloyd means he was only a few steps away from being open about vulnerabilities as well.

The Hod dream thread was enough to push it along the rest of the way, since it was very much a dream about Van at his most vulnerable moment, and Lloyd took charge and made sure he was cared for his mother was cared for. So Van definitely...trusts that Lloyd genuinely cares about him and that Lloyd wouldn't judge him for his perceived weaknesses either, so that has allowed him to be honest and also feel as though he doesn't have to set up some sort of insane guard around Lloyd by twisting the conversation around to "EVERYONE WOULD BE HAPPIER IF THEY JUST KILLED THEMSELVES ALREADY."

He still thinks Lloyd is selfish for holding the views he does re: self-sacrifice (anything resembling "It hurts other people to see you hurt" as though that is somehow greater than being hurt yourself is a big NO button for him in Aather right now) and he also doesn't think Lloyd truly understands what a lack of free will feels like...but he can simply disagree and say so and feel like that's enough because whatever Lloyd says, he at least knows it's genuine and not masking some sort of unseen WE HATE VAN GRANTS AND WANT HIM TO SUFFER conspiracy.

...I guess I will reserve this. THREE WEEK OLD QUESTION MEME AW YEAAAH.

Lloyd is pretty down with being seen as selfish since he sees himself as selfish, sooo 8D

GOSH

DOING KIND OF OKAY FOR A CHANGE

...Reverse even but.

HOW WILL WE COPE WITH BEING OKAY???

...LLOYD WILL BE FINE WITH IT

HE LIKES FOR THINGS TO BE OKAY...

honestly his opinion of Van is fairly set in stone at this point! he'll continue to trust him as much as he can without being totally stupid and be really happy that he seems to be doing better! THIS IS A RELATIONSHIP IT'S REALLY HARD TO MESS UP, VAN GRANTS

what does Van think of his rapidly shifting opinions on Lloyd... like, does he self-examine there at all?

"Does Van self-examine ~~there~~ at all?"

fix'd it for you

kdlsa ANYWAY...He's learning to self-examine. Denial and rewriting reality is how Van has coped with the fact that he doesn't actually have as much control over things as he likes. He spent so much of his life putting himself on the pedestal of being one of the few who sees the way things truly are and has taken refuge in the fact that even though the world is terrible and awful, he at least stands in the objective right.

Obviously! Aather has put this to the test! Repeatedly! Which has finally taken effect after Shark's heart. Cry Wolf fallout was so bad for him Van just locked right back up again and denying that there is any good in anyone, partly to explain why people reacted in a way he felt made no sense to him and partly to protect himself from responsibility for what he screwed up. EITHER WAY...The idea that 'no-one care about me' was protection! If no-one cares about him, he doesn't have to be worried about being killed and can accept it as inevitability, and that also means he doesn't have to care about anyone else either!! Unfortunately Shark's heart provided him with a whole group of people who cared so that...meant he had to examine that idea. Which meant he had to examine other ideas too.

He hasn't really examined how he views Lloyd differently, but he's examined how he's been viewing people, which can later apply to how he views individuals.

...I have no idea what to ask you. I feel like there's a theme to continue but I have no idea what.

it's okay i'd be pretty bad at answering right now tbh anyway

CAN I ASK ONE MORE!!

GO FOR IT!

TELL ME ABOUT VAN'S POV OF THAT CONVO WITH MITHOS I WAS STALKINGGG

MITHOS IS DELUDED BECAUSE HE'S REDEEMED AND HAS FRIENDS AND PEOPLE DON'T TRY TO STAB HIM AND HE PROBABLY NEVER EVEN DIED IN GAMES EITHER. NO-ONE'S EVER TRULY TESTED HIM SO WHAT THE HELL DOES HE KNOW!!!!

AND THAT WASN'T A QUESTION BECAUSE I DECIDED THE ANSWER ALREADY GOD

You go live in your wonderland Mithos, I'll live in this one with actual murder.

crying

I am always right

𝄫 Question Meme 06

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